Due to some family stuff going on, missed a couple of days of entering a blog so this one may be a little longer. 

When you lose a person close to you whether it is family or friend, it is always a difficult time as there are son many things that will remind you of them at first. Gradually over time the emotional roller coaster smooths out but the feelings are never completely gone.

It was 22 years since I lost my mother and the recent passing of my uncle (her brother in law) has triggered many many of those feelings to return.  It shakes you to the core and brings things back into check as you realize how important those around you are. 

It is unfortunate that it takes losing someone you care about to wake you up to what you have.  With today's stresses and demands, it is so easy to lose focus on what is important and become absorbed by the daily grind that wears us all down. 

I didn't know my uncle very well but from what I recall of the times we spent together, it puts a smile on my face.  He was a good man with a great sense of humour.  He always had nice things to cheer you up when you were down.  He very quickly made a good impression on those he met.  Only after his death did I find out he was a Korean war vet and his service will be a US military ceremony. It will be an interesting experience to be there first hand.  I have seen things on TV but to be there will be a completely different situation. 

Meanwhile work continues, life goes on and the world keeps turning just like it did before he passed.  Of late I have experienced some rather strong emotions and I don't know if it is partly due to his death and my mother's anniversary although I suspect it is.  People are grumpy, impatient, rude and so self focused on what is important to them at the expense of family, friends and total strangers. 

We are so wrapped up in the whirlwind of daily life (our own usually) that even waving at someone to say thank you for letting you into their lane is practically non-existent.  There is no consideration, empathy, caring or whatever tag word you want to put to it by anyone that it is no wonder the world seems to be falling down around our feet.  I find most recently that I have become completely intolerant of other nationalities for their apparent utter disregard to what kind of city, province or country Canada is.  Our nationality is almost surely gone now except for a few things like the musical ride.  They have weaseled their way into that as well wearing turbins instead of the traditional hat. I have no problem with their beliefs or their way of life, what I do have a problem with is having it jammed down my throat all the time.  They say we are racist because we wish to protect our heritage and traditions while they flaunt ours in our faces. 

As you may have guessed, I am a canadian born and bred caucasion person living in an area of the city that is predominantly non-caucasion.  The only reason is this was the only place we could afford to buy a home because of these, what I would call, mini mansions that are popping up all over the area.  Go right ahead and build your 6000 sq ft homes with your 8 cars in the driveway, the trucks on the street and the entire family having to go shopping just to be able to load their two cars with all the groceries, including 8 litres of milk.

Multi language signage on the street, translators at the driving centres, restrictions on hiring for a second language, block parties that take up a mile strip of a major thorough fare, and the list goes on.  There is no denying they are bringing their money into our country but do they have to bring everything else as well.  I would love to be able to go in a shop and have the person behind the counter speak at least reasonable english to me.  Don't ignore me because I am caucasion and you are not.  Time after time this has happened and each time my temper gets shorter and shorter.  What you did in your own country does not mean it should apply here.  Yes bring your traditions and your culture here but don't destroy mine in the meantime.

What is a true canadian?  I honestly don't know any more.  I feel I have lost my own national sense of being with the overwhelming open door policy that we have towards people from other countries.  If you come to Canada, become a canadian.  Allow us the right to be our own country not a conglomeration of the world's in one area.  I am not going to apologize for being patriotic to what is left of our national pride.  I will not back down from fighting for our right to our own way of life.  We let you in and it is our right to ask you to leave. You don't own this country YET although you are getting there rather quickly. 

I admire the Australian Prime Minister who stated that if you don't like the way we do things, our way of life or following the rules we have set down in our society for the people of this country, go back home because once you're here, you're australian, nothing else will be accepted.

It is these issues that have significantly come to the forefront of late. There should not be any question from our government about what they should and shouldn't do here.  It's our home therefore you have come to our territory.  Deal with the increasing racism that is developing.  If you don't like it, go home.  Personally I don't want to deal with you any longer.  We should not have to adapt to you, you should be adapting to us.

Learn the language, learn to read english, learn to speak english and then I might start showing you the consideration that you deserve. Until that time, expect a fight cause I have had enough. 

Listening to the radio coming into work and everything I heard was negative. If it wasn't cat mutilations it was police officers shooting people in the head.  Car accidents, traffic jams as well as demonstrations were the main headlines.  The population is aging but the "replacement" numbers are high enough to cover the current retiring workforce.

Issue after issue tends to start the day out on a negative note.  How does one get past the negativity and actually be able to enjoy their day?  I don't know.  I wish I did because the rainy weather only adds to the already darkening mood that is developing. 

The good news of a canadian bicyclist winning a race for the first time on a canadian made bike from a canadian dealer sits sadly in the background.  His accomplishment should be the inspiration that puts a smile on our faces.  His determination and dedication to his sport should motivate a nation to move beyond the bleak and start making positive constructive changes to the benefit of all. 

If it isn't doing that, what is the reason?  Many people are so engrossed in their own little world of issues and aging parents to the dismissal of anything good.  Many only care about themselves and their families because they do not see the benefits of doing something for someone else only to get taken advantage of in the long run.  We are very pessimistic as a group believing that the good of the one completely outweighs the good of the many not realizing that their lives would be much happier if the people as a whole are happier.

If the issues of the day were addressed, if people stopped believing that it is okay to hurt animals or other people without any repercussions, if the general public wasn't so afraid to step up and get involved alot of our problems would start falling by the wayside.  Until that happens, we can expect things to stay the same or get worse. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Sunday May 27

Weekends are meant to be enjoyed, not endured.  With gardening at my mother in law's house, animal care for her dog and cats, lunch with my father, shopping then a visit to the bank.  That was Saturday and Sunday was cleaning, laundry. grocery shopping, spring clean up, cooking and painting a bathroom.

All I can say is that I am glad for Monday and a little bit of rest.  It is amazing how much energy simple chores around the house can take out of a person.  I am not too badly out of shape yet I am physicaly and emotionally exhausted. 

Perhaps tomorrow will give me some more energy to write something more interesting.  Good night.

I am sitting here thinking about what I wish to say and nothing is coming to mind.  I spent my day doing things for family members and it has worn me out.  Lately I am spending so much of my free time working to other people's advantage with no real benefit to me in the long run. 
When you do something for a friend, you usually receive some sort of comment to show their appreciation for the effort you have put in.  With family, there is a tendency (with mine anyways) to go unacknowledged and under appreciated. 
Like many, our family is a dual income, no children situation. We both work full time, have aging parents, ill relatives and no real personal life because that is how things have developed.  We have given up our off time to help them, spend time with them or make sure they are ok with no real expectation to be acknowledged.  We do it because we feel that it is our responsibility to aid them as they have aided us through the years.  They have been there for us when we've needed them and now it is time to pay back part of the debt.
Many have felt (and so have we at times) that we are being taken advantage of and we should walk away to persue our own wants or dreams.  As easy as that might be for some to do, it is not for us.
We do have brothers and sisters who have their own lives and families to deal with so the "duty" has fallen on us and we have taken up the challenge because that is the type of people we are.
Some may think we are fools to continue to do this but this is who we are and who we want to be.

We take our family commitments seriously, despite the complaints we occasionally state but one must vent when the frustrations become rather overwhelming.  You choose your friends, sometimes your co-workers and your partners but you cannot choose your family.  You were brought into your family by your parents and I believe it is every child's responsibility to take care of them when the time comes.

You may not like them or get along with them, you may get frustrated with their constant observations and comments, they may be bad people because they drink, do drugs or have a mental condition where they can't remember your name from one minute to to the next.  None of this changes the fact that they are your parents and deserve your patience, help, commitment and compassion.

They were in our shoes at some point, saying the same things about their parents or inlaws that we say about them now.  Again, this does not change the fact that they have earned the right to be a little bitter, frustrated, negative, derogatory, cutting, angry, obnoxious and even senile.  They can say or do whatever they want to because they have paid whatever cost to do it. 

Some might reply that they haven't dealt with the same stresses that our generation has.  Really when you think about the years they grew up in, they had things a little tougher than we have.  My father grew up during the second world war, the Cuban missile crisis, the cold war with lesser technology that we cannot even conceive.  He recalls having to shovel coal into the furnace to warm the house, using a crank to start your car, no luxury cruise ships or aircraft, milk was delivered to your front door in glass jars and the list goes on. 

All the things that we go through, they've dealt with and overcome.  All the issues that we hear about on the news happened to them too.  The only major difference is they had to wait for TV's to be invented to watch it in their homes. They didn't have nearly half of what we do yet it still isn't enough for us. We always seem to want more.  We crank up the credit cards for the latest phone or computer, we have a higher rate of debt and bankruptcy because they knew the value of a dollar and were willing to take lesser paying jobs to keep a roof over their heads.

I guess what I am trying to get across is this: our parents may annoy and anger us at times but they had a lot harder life than we do.  We must keep that in mind when times are difficult with them because they learned the right way and the hard way.  They paid their dues and can now enjoy the fruit of their labours.  One day we may realize that and treat them as they should be treated, with respect and admiration. Thnk about that and make up your own minds. It's your call how you wish to deal with things.

Yesterday's blog was a little confusing because there was no real "topic" followed.  Mainly what I was putting out there was the idea that society as a whole is being manipulated (subtle at times) to follow the crowd.  Do what you're told, follow the rules and take whatever is thrown at you with a smile on your face.
I believe this is why we are seeing more protests, riots or demonstrations because there comes a point when a person simply can't take anymore and they are starting to bite back.
Society is beginning to ask the hard questions and want reasonable explanations for what is happening. Why is our economic crisis happening?  What is government doing about it? How can we sustain or prosper in such a downturn? We are asking for an answer to question that no one is prepared to acknowledge as even being spoken.  I am tired of being led around by the nose and told that it's okay to spend millions of dollars on a luxury jail back east but we can't feed the homeless.  I am sick of politicians explaining away expenditures while whole communities are in need of a full time hospital.  Let's build a bridge but leave the potholes and bad main streets alone, let's let water mains break that should have been replaced years earlier so that we can put palm trees down the main thoroughfare.
Where is the accountability and that is what I feel people are starting to fight against.  We need to know why these sort of discrepancies are happening and make sure that something is done about it before we move forward with new construction.

We all want a reasonable, clean, well structured, prosperous, happy community to live in but we won't have it as long as we stand by and allow those with the money to control all aspects of our lives.

My first entry

Many people have told me that I have a unique view on life that they don't quite understand.  I see things out there in the world that make me emotionally charged.  When I say charged, it is usually anger and frustration at the sheer insanity that has come to the forefront for me.
It seems like we are all sheep of one sort or another that follow whatever will make us "acceptable" in other people's eyes.  Sounds a little crazy I know but when you sit down with your Starbuck's or Tim Horton's coffee at a table looking out into the world, aren't you doing exactly that.  Following what others are doing.  If someone was jumping off a bridge, would you follow?  I don't think so because that is ridiculous right? Well not really because we follow the trends when we look at magazines to see what the latest fashion style is or what the newest electronic device is.  Is that so different?  Well, of course it is primarily because one is a death wish and the other is a toy.  Well the principle is the same whatever spin you put on it.  We are being led around by the proverbial nose and don't think there is anything wrong with that.  We buy what we are told to buy from the advertisements, we wear what the current trend is because we don't want to be perceived as 'different',
There will come a time in each of our lives where we must stand out and make ourselves seen and many times this will not be our own doing.  Something will happen that will cause us to step to the forefront whether it be helping out at an accident, witnessing an assault, seeing someone steal something, etc,. The list of possible events is too numerous to mention but it will happen, of that I can promise you.  What you do with that moment is up to you.  You can choose to take advantage or cower away in fear.
The idea here is that it is time we stand on our own feet, stop following the crowd and choose to be the individuals that we are.  Our country, our society is a field full of sheep with a few herders controlling what we do (perhaps without us being aware of it) and it is time to get the full story and make decisions for ourselves about our lives and our futures.